Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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