I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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