One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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