And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
