I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
If its not for food we ain't going out.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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