If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
