You smell like a Billy Joel song
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Even my vagina gasped.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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