New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
