I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
