He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
