He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
