The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
