So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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