Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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