"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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