Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
