I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I can't turn off my feet"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
