Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
