Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
