Screwed.edu
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
