you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize