As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
