my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just gift wrapped bread.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
