every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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