Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
