Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
