Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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