Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
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There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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