i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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