I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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