ugly people sure do ruin things
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
