Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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