just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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