I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
