Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
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