You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
