Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
