He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
