I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
