Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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