Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
