couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
