Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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