SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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