shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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