I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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