yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
