I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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