i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
