I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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