so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
