I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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