Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
