every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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