Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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