Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
