The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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